Dear Dad

 Dear Dad,

 

It has been three years since you went to heaven. 

 

This week has been hard for me. I still find myself reaching for my phone to call you just to chat or get your advice about fatherhood or life in general. I give myself this week to miss you, then the rest of the year I celebrate you and all the truly wonderful memories and gifts of life that you have given me. I wouldn’t be the man, dad and grandfather that I am today if it wasn’t for you. 

 

I know you always worried about my chronic health issues, and I love you for that. Despite the challenges I face daily, I am enjoying life. I am in a loving and healthy relationship with the most beautiful person. Her name is Laurie, and she has a 17-year-old daughter named Lexie. Laurie is a first-grade teacher and has been a teacher for over 30 years and Lexie is a senior in high school, heavily involved in musical theater. You would absolutely love them both. Lexie is a wonderful singer, actress, and dancer. I have seen her perform a few times. I feel that she’ll be Broadway bound one day.

 

Being single parents in our mid-fifties is what attracted us both to each other. We have many things in common, especially our love for Snoopy. Laurie shows her love for me every day despite my quirks. It feels like we have known each other for years and we just started dating in the first part of the year. Evan and Caitlin have spent the most time with Laurie out of all my kids and they love her. Caitlin loves that Laurie has gotten me traveling again and that Laurie has shown me that I need to have a life for myself outside of being Dad and Grandpa.  I am looking forward to our future together because just thinking of her puts the biggest smile on my face.

 

Evan is getting so big and he’s doing well in school. Evan started sixth grade and he goes to a magnet middle school that has a STEM curriculum. He is learning how to live with his autism and anxiety instead of them being a roadblock. Evan is very caring, loving, and protective of both his family and friends. He has a good moral compass with a snarky sense of humor. Evan wants to make, direct, and possibly act in movies. He’s either going to be the next Steven Spielberg or Mel Brooks. We frequently talk about the life lessons that you taught me. 

 

I absolutely love being a grandfather. Claire, who is 2 ½ years old now, is very dramatic. She keeps us on our toes. We are close and she loves coming to “Grandpa’s house”. The apartment complex where Evan and I live is situated on a lake and they have a playground and a dock on the lake, so we take Claire for walks to go feed the fish and other wildlife in the lake. It reminds me when you would take us to the duck pond in Hewlett Harbor when I was a kid and we’d feed the ducks and fish. Claire is a Disney Princess girl, and she loves to have tea parties with me, Laurie and Evan when she visits. 

 

Caitlin gave birth in June to the most adorable baby boy, Noah Peter. I love that feeling of holding him and looking at his facial expressions as he is becoming aware of the world around him. Caitlin has become such a wonderful mother, and she is doing awesome working as a RN in the pediatric oncology ward at the hospital downtown. She hates when I brag about her, but I can’t help it. I am a proud father. We’ve built a strong father-daughter relationship. Caitlin might be 27 but she’ll always be my baby girl. 

Michael received his clinical doctorate this past Spring and is studying hard for his boards. He’s made us all proud.

 

Andrew and Brandon are fully occupied in their own lives, which is a good thing. Brandon and Anja are going strong, with Anja in her last year before she earns her doctorate. Brandon is not far behind. They are such a beautiful couple and I know they have a bright future ahead of them filled with laughter and love. I always tease Brandon by quoting Mel Brooks’ stand-up philosopher bit in History of the World Part I. “I’m a stand-up philosopher!” “Oh, a bullshit artist!”

 

Andrew is busy traveling most of the year because of his job. I think it is great that he works on concert tours for artists all over the music spectrum. Andrew gets to travel to places that I could only dream of going to and he does a great job of welcoming us into his world through his social media posts. I love that we bond over our shared love of music and he bonds with Evan over their shared love of Pokémon cards. Andrew’s love for Peter Pan reminds me of mine, especially when I was a boy. It keeps my link alive to Grandma Blanche, where the only memory I have of her is watching Peter Pan (the Broadway version) on TV and the book she gave me when I was four or five.

 

I love you, Dad. Sometimes I feel that you are so close that I could reach out and hug you, but I can’t. It sucks!  I sometimes feel your presence around, especially when I am dreaming. You still mean so much to all the people’s lives you have touched. The kindness and love that you were so gracious with will live on through me, my children, and my grandchildren. Your memory will always be a blessing and I am so proud to be your son. 

 

Keith 

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